In Caitlin Moran’s outrageous, funny and heartbreakingly honest feminist manifesto How to Be a Woman, she calls for a fifth wave (by her count) of feminism to rise up. Pointing at the statistics that say only 29% of American women and 42% of British women call themselves Feminists, she rails at the anti-feminism sentiment and the quasi-feminist hand-wring:
“What do you think feminism, IS, ladies? What part of “liberation for women” is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay?… Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?”
I’ll confess, I’ve been guilty of the charge. The label of “feminist” seemed an uncomfortable fit. I’ve always clung rather tightly to the cherished ideals of freedom and equality for women that the founding fathers spelled out for white men at the forming of this country. I believed and argued that we too have the inalienable right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. But, well, I didn’t and don’t hate men. And that seemed to be the sticking point.
As a freshmen in college, I was all but drummed out of my Women in History course and later called a “Stupid Bi*** by another woman for not toeing their feminist party line that all men are bad. So I took a step back from all that feminist anger and I never fully stepped back in — until 2008. (Read Anita Finlay’s book Dirty Words On Clean Skin if you managed to miss the misogyny in the 2008 election).
Sure, over the years, I’d seen, heard and experienced plenty of sexism and misogyny up close and personal. Sometimes, on a daily basis. What woman hasn’t? But I just kept my head down and quietly chip away at it on my own. My anger and frustration equally divided between the sexist patriarchal types who were then verbally and mentally assaulting me and the “all men are bad” feminists who had earlier rejected me. And always, I reminded myself that it could be much worse.
Yes. There are places in the world where horrific and unspeakable acts against women bring international outrage and rightly so. American women have truly made major strides over the last 238 years. We are no longer the legal property of our husband or father. We can now own property, live independently, vote, earn a paycheck, get a loan, control our own reproduction… Yet we’ve reach 2012 without a woman (or two or three) as president or vice-president. We now have an election underway for the highest office without a single women representing the 51% of the population that is female.
But the lack of representation is only an outward face of an ugly underbelly. Somewhere, somehow the tone of the patriarchy has shifted. The provocative sexist bravado that seemed a male response to the female sexual revolution of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s has deepened into a nasty, aggressive misogyny that has become codified as a social norm by media and advertising. (For just a taste watch the Miss Representation movie trailer.)
This is where I draw the line. It is also why I joined The New Agenda. The misogyny needs to stop.
And I agree with Ms. Moran that we should take “a Zero Tolerance policy on the Patriarchal Broken Windows Bullshit” issues in our lives and that it needs to be “tackled, rugby-style, face down in the mud, with lots of shouting.” I also agree those little every day patriarchal cuts do damage and over time they wear us down to the point where we end up hating ourselves and empowering the cutters.
But here is the part I found most provocative and empowering in Ms. Moran’s book, it is her strategy for changing the dynamics of this wave of feminism through:
A demand for politeness among all 6 billion regardless of team —
“…you can argue–argue until you cry–about what modern, codified misogyny is; but straight-up ungentlemanliness, of the kind his mother would clatter the back of his head for, is unarguable.”
A re-centering the struggle on power vs. equality —
“… I don’t think that ‘men’/maleness/male sexuality is the problem here. I don’t think sexism is a ‘man vs. woman’ thing. The man is not The Man simply because he is a man. Sometimes, The Man is a woman… Men don’t do this shit to women just because of their ‘femaleness.’ AND I DON’T THINK IT’S ABOUT SEX… What I see, instead, is winner vs. loser. Most sexism is down to men being accustomed to us being losers.”
And responding with humor —
“…if there is to be a fifth wave of feminism, I would hope that the main thing that distinguishes it from all that came before is that women counter the awkwardness, disconnect, and bullshit of being a modern woman not by shouting at it, internalizing it, or squabbling about it — but by simply pointing at it and going ‘HA!’ instead”
Whether we call ourselves Feminists or not, whether we are of the fourth, fifth or sixth wave, and whether we respond with humor or not, we each need to take our turn in the trenches fighting the good fight for women’s equality while giving birth to our own feminist ideals. After all, it’s not like we don’t all have a stake in our success. We’ve come too far to go back now.
I’ll start with humor…love the button “We don’t need balls to play”
Now serious…I remember when Rush Limberlips first used the word feminazi. That was in 1992 but feels like yesterday. I was outraged and still am.
After that I began using the “F” word more often because I’ve never been one to shy from what seemed to become dirty language. When I say I’m a feminist you would think I said the F-bomb to a group of young school children. Oh wait I believe I’m talking about a room of adult men, my bad.
I’m told we (women) have come a long way but really, I feel we’ve only just begun. Being underestimated can be a good thing. 2016 is not that far away but and us Fems have a lot of work ahead.
Loved that button also.
Meant to add — Yes. A lot of work ahead. Feminazi is actually sounding like a good thing.
The modern “taboo” surrounding the word feminist is definitely an obstacle to women who believe in women’s rights claiming the word as their own. I feel, though, that it is the absolute minority of women who call themselves feminists that actually believe men in general to be the problem, or the cause, of misogyny and inequality.
Another issue with the word, and one that I experienced myself, was the history of the term; I’ve met women who are conscientious of adopting labels they feel they don’t fully comprehend, and the reason they don’t call themselves feminist is because they don’t feel they know enough of the history, or of the theory, to be comfortable labelling themselves with it. Of course, you don’t need to have read everything Germaine Greer has ever written, or even know who Emmeline Pankhurst is to be a feminist, all you need is a belief that women are not, and should not be treated as, second class citizens.
All in all, I don’t think there’s a need for a new wave of feminism because I’m quite certain it’s already out there. There are men and women who approach the topic of gender inequality with respect, whichever side they’re on, and there are certainly feminists out there with the equal measures of good humour and drive to make a difference.
Thanks for the great article!
Thank you for your great comment! Yes. Simply put feminism is the rejection of women’s current second class status. I agree there is a wave of women believers out there, I’m just urging them to be less quiet about it.
Wow, Linda. What a wonderful post. So true how feminism is almost a dirty word – but everything you’ve drawn to light is so true. Loved the end: “we each need to take our turn in the trenches fighting the good fight for women’s equality while giving birth to our own feminist ideals. After all, it’s not like we don’t all have a stake in our success. We’ve come too far to go back now.”
And while I have never been a man hater (I just always thought women worked harder and were smarter – ha ha), I did LOVE the cartoon on my cork board in college of a man’s balding head cropping up next to some flowers, with a caption reading: “Grow your own dope. Plant a man.” Tee hee.
Hey Melissa – love the cartoon. Yeah, if it doesn’t involve sex or games, I don’t think men tend to fully engage on the task at hand.
I really like the new look 🙂
Thank you. I do too! Even though I have to go in a fix most of my old posts because the new theme messes with the formating. I like the result.